Saturday, October 17, 2015

Nerve

I woke up and still had a huge pain in my neck.  It took me a while to get out of Roseburg, weighed down by the grief still fresh in the town.  This is the town where ANOTHER shooting took place a few weeks ago.  I can only imagine the post traumatic stress the people who live in this town are wrestling with. As usual, the rest of us have moved on.

Am I losing my nerve?  It feels like it sometimes, especially when i am in pain. Being alone so much leaves my mind free to contemplate all kinds of horrible health scenarios, and i talk myself into the fact that i am probably dying, that this trip is my swan song.

So i have to wrestle my own mind back to the here and now, and remind myself that there is a lot of life to live, and I have to figure out ways to sustain this amazing endeavor.  The secret is to stay on the rails, no matter what happens. It is not an option to lose my nerve, unless i want to end up back in Florida, watching tv and cursing the heat.

Stopped for lunch at a local place called Patti's Kitchen, in Goldville, Oregon. It was very inviting, with friendly servers. I had an incredibly delicious quesadilla and hung out at the counter, sitting on the comfortable stool, missing the Kountry Kitchen in Vero Beach.


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