It is hard to be a Scrooge around here. Nancy and Ann and are like Christmas elves, and everything is decorated beautifully. That sugar cookie smell wafts through the air, and having Chelsea here adds to the fun. I am so happy that this is where I landed.
As wonderful as it all is, I keep being struck with homesick pangs, thinking about Vero at Christmas. Part of it is that Patty and Charlie are there, with their daughters.
What i miss is a place of my own. At the moment, i am so unmoored, trying to find my berth, a safe harbor where i can be and spread out my stuff and not feel weird about napping so much. At least I am steering myself in the right direction. And it is wonderful to be part of a family. The past sixteen years have been dark and lonely, so i am slowly getting used to the light. I feel like i lost a lot of social skills, living with my dad, and then alone, with my dog. They are slowly returning, but it takes practice.
I was feeling a little weepy, this being my first Christmas away from Vero in a long time. I was really missing my mom and dad, when i got a call from my cousin, Jim Nuth, the oldest cousin on my mother's side of the family. Here's what he said to me that helped heal my heart.
"Every little tear I shed, I am thanking God for, because each one shows me that i had great parents."
"No matter how alone you think are, you are always part of this huge pack, for better or for worse. That's the good news AND the bad news."